1. I live with my husband, kid, dog and 4 fish in a 700 square foot apartment in Brooklyn.
2. I married the boy who sat in front of me in first grade.
3. I curse. A lot.
4. I have 5 million cookbooks, 6 billion craft books and about 3 thousand unfinished sewing projects in the closet. (Not really, but it feels like that many.)
5. Despite the snark, I cry really, really easily… and at pretty much anything. Any ASPCA commercial, the end of Toy Story 3, the last five minutes of Rudy: bawling.
6. When I was 24 I was diagnosed with slight OCD and an anxiety disorder. While not having panic attacks or obsessing over the number 24, I might be found checking that the iron is turned off. (24 times, of course)
7. I’ve successfully given the Heimlich twice. Once to my sister, and once to my daughter. I’m a fucking lifesaving superhero.
8. I’m trying really hard to like both mushrooms and the NY Mets.
9. If you can’t figure out the difference between “you’re” and “your”: I can’t even look at you.
10. Every crisp fall day I comment about how it’s “perfect field hockey weather”.
11. I have 3 irrational, crippling phobias: throwing up, falling when getting off ski lifts, and teeing off on the first hole of a golf course. Panic attack city.
12. I hate snow. Hate being cold. Hate winter. Hate sweaters. Love the beach, flip flops, and summery dresses.
13. My daughter and I spend a ridiculous amount of time sitting on our front stoop.
14. I loathe judgmental moms and helicopter parents.
15. I am a judgmental mom and a helicopter parent. (Fuck. How did that happen?)
This is like my new favorite blog.
Aww, thanks! You’re the one with the two cutest kids ever. I want to nibble on your daughter’s arms! Not in a creepy way, in a “socutesocutesocute!” way, I swear. (Assuming those pics from yesterday were YOUR kids.) 😉
Hey! Great blog! Recommended by my friend Jen who works with your husband (I think I have that right.) Looks like we started blogging around the same time. Looking forward to reading more.
Thanks, you too! Love meeting other Brooklyn mamas via their blogs!
Love your blog Stoopmama. Great writing.
I love your list.
P.S. I hate mushrooms too, and I’m an effin’ vegetarian, it is practically my job to love them.
I’m a vegetarian, also! How gross are portabello mushrooms? Vile. No thanks, fungus.
Great stuff. You’ve got a knack for this thing.
I’m not a parent. I don’t live in Brooklyn. Yet I find this blog endlessly entertaining. Keep it up!
Thanks, Don. 🙂
I found your blog via Freshly Pressed, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your pieces this week. Fantastic blog!
Thank you!
Yeah this is a pretty awesome blog and what is a helicopter mom? all that comes to mind is a parent that is constantly leaving home in a helicopter or one of those obnoxious, mulitcolored hats with propellers on the top. Either way, kudos once again!
Hahaha! Those stupid propeller hats are ridiculous. “Helicopter mom” is a popular (not at all flattering) term in this cut-throat world of NYC parenting. You know moms who tend to follow their kids around obsessively at the playground, worrying they’re going to fall, constantly calling out, “Be careful!!!”, and not letting them just be kids? That’s a helicopter mom. They hover.
I’m trying very, VERY hard to stop doing that, lest I raise a spoiled pain-in-the-ass.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
you are hilarious! we have few things in common: slight ocd (my need to check the faucet, stove, door) 3-5 times before leaving the house and fear/dislike of snow (slipping, walking, skiiing and snowboarding in it to be exact).
Oh, the stove is a big one. I have internal arguments all the time about whether or not the stove is still on. I’ll be halfway across town and the “Did i turn the stove just to low, instead of off?” thought will pop into my head. It takes everything in my soul to resist going home to check. Amazing.
I think I just found my new best friend.
Yaaaaay!
Absolutely wonderful! You’re fantastic! You *gotta* love the Mets! Of all the things I miss about New York, the Mets, knishes and snow are in the top ten. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! (I also love to sew, craft and make dolls.. but I’m compulsive about *finishing*) Oh yeah.. and ya know what really motivates me? Having a great big table to work on. Get one of those banquet tables at Costco and get some PVC pipe pieces to raise it up. It will turn your life around.
I would LOOOOVE to have a craft table (or even a room!), but our apt is too small for either. The crafts just get jammed into a closet.
Ps- knishes RULE.
Add clowns to your phobias and that is me. In a nutshell. Well without OCD and crafting. Great blog!
Thanks, Stasha! Clowns are the WORST. That scene from the first Poltergeist? With that clown doll that pulls the kid under the bed? Yeah, that ruined clowns forever for me.
You have been added to my blog roll. Looking forward to more of your observations.
Hi. Not sure if you remember me from Baldwin,but Kelly Bishop is a mutual friend and she posted a link on her Facebook. I found myself laughing out loud at your hilarious and oh so familiar stories- the bag of your husbands sweaty running clothes ( a familiar and often experienced in this household), carrying your screaming child home from the park! Oh and especially the OCD Iron is on thing! For the past few years I have been blessed to have a close friend/neighbor with a key to my home for almost daily emergencies of:
“I think I left my iron plugged in, a candle lit, the oven on, etc.” And I somewhat shamefully admit that while living alone in an apartment with a propane stove I found myself getting out of bed a minimum of five times per night before I could fall asleep to be sure that all four knobs were set to off. FIVE FUCKING YEARS OF THAT PROPANE OVEN! Thank the Lord in Heaven for electric ovens! Very well written and I also admit made me itch to return to my one true love, besides my family of course-writing.
I totally remember you, Amanda! I’m glad I’m not the only one checking the stove. 😉
Hi StoopMama!
What’s up with the huge deli sandwich ?
Hi! That was a giant pastrami (or corned beef…can’t remember) sandwich created by an artist for the new Seamless Web campaign. My husband’s a creative director in advertising, and that was his campaign/idea, and it was in various spots in NYC: one of them the Brooklyn Flea where that picture was taken! (Seamless Web is a website that facilitates ordering take-out online for us lazy NYC folks.) 😉