Posted in Parenting Tales, tagged humor, kids, quotes on June 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Me: LJ, we have to stop to get gas for the car.
LJ: Daddy works at a place that gives gas to cars.
Me: No, he doesn’t. Daddy works in advertising. Like, commercials.
LJ: Are there cowboy hats and hot dogs where he works?
Me: Uhhh, yes. Lots of them.
LJ: Yay!!! And spiders, too?!?
Me: Are you on drugs?!
LJ: Yay! Ha!
Posted in Parenting Tales, tagged humor, kids, parenting, quotes on May 20, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Mumbling to myself as I pulled on a pair of shorts, “Ugh, I feel like these make me look fat.” “Mommy, you’re a fat princess!”
“Look at me!” said LJ as she walked up to me with a dollar she took from my wallet. “Wow! Money! what do you want to buy with it?”, I asked. “Clouds!”
“LJ, what are you thankful for?” “Bagels.”
“Mommy, you’re gray!” “Oh, my hair, yeah, I need to get it done.” “No, your face.”
“Your teeth are yucky all the way.”
Me: “Listen, you know your fish? Shelly? She died, so she had to go away forever. I’m so sorry.” (One second pause) “Mommy, can you fix my slinky?”
“Mommy, I have bones inside my body. I love them. My bones love to ride the F train.”
“When I grow up I can be a mommy and I’ll get giant boobies!”
“What color is he? Brown like chocolate?”
“Mommy! There’s an ant on my dress! Can I put him in my piggy bank?”
“Jesus CHRIST! Jesus CHRIST!”, muttered angrily under her breath while stomping around at the DMV.
“Mommy, you look droopy!”, as she watched me try on a bathing suit.
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